Confessions of a second pet owner

Wing// Personal

Since starting graduate studies in the fall of 2015, I have thought about getting a second cat. Within the past several months, Nguyen started to search on a daily basis for our new potential family member.

As we would stay at our respective labs for long periods of time (on average: 11 AM – 10 PM), we would essentially spend 2 hours with Mao before heading to bed. Although he is very independent, being self-sufficient for 2 or 3 days at a time, he would miss us terribly. He often waits at the door and often speaks or paws at us for our attention.

I’ve always felt very sorry because I knew he was lonely. As a result, I decided that it might be better for him to have a brother to play with as he waits for us to come home.

As a trial, we invited our friend Madison to bring her cat over for a night. It was… alright. The 1-year old black male cat and my 11-year old exchanged hisses and punches, but nothing too drastic occurred.

A few weeks ago, we visited our local Humane Society because we saw two cat profiles that fit our interest. I liked the girl cat but Andrew liked the boy kitten. We decided to sleep on it.

The girl!

The boy!

I had so much trouble sleeping that night because I felt both cats were not a good fit. However, it also could have been that final paper I was still working on past the due date. Haha. I had liked the girl cat, but she was not very affectionate, which was a quality that I wanted. Nguyen had liked the boy kitten, but I felt that he was a little bit too high energy for Mao.

The next day, we went to a local pet store that had some pets for adoption. Here, we saw a very cute and shy kitten who had difficulty adjusting to the pet store. He was so skinny because he was afraid to eat and he was so sleepy because it was afraid to let his guard down. He was recommended for adoption only if he had an older cat to rely on.

It was almost a perfect match as his personality profile seemed almost identical to that of Mao’s. Our cat exhibited almost the same qualities when trying to adjust to new things.

Mao, 11-years, Male, orange tabby

After nearly an hour of deliberation and of talking to the pet store owners about diet, habit, and other details, we decided to take the kitten home. On our way home, I began to feel conflicted about the adoption. What if Mao feels neglected after the adoption? What if the cats do not get along? Like ever?

Back at home, we decided to heed the advice of the online pet community and siphoned off the rooms separating our new cat and old cats. We decided to set up the litter box, water, and snacks in the bedroom and to wait a week before opening the door. Interestingly, by the time everything was set up, our new kitten had already searched and examined every angle of our bedroom. Contrary to what we have been told, our new kitten was not at all shy. Rather, he was very brave and curious.

In fact, he was brave enough to see the rest of the house when we opened the door 10 minutes later. He explored the house without reservation and adjusted to the litter boxes and furniture very well.

As expected, his encounter with Mao did not go smoothly, with lots of growling from

The new kitten! 4-months, male, white-brown short-hair mix

our resident cat. Interestingly, the kitten did not care and hopped onto our bed for a 3-hour nap. Having encountered a difficult environment at the pet store, our new kitten felt finally at rest.

Unfortunately, the next few days did not go so well for our resident cat. While the kitten slept in the bedroom with us, Mao refused to enter the bedroom. As a very anxious mom to a very anxious cat, I woke up at 6 AM for several mornings to sit with Mao to show my love.

The morning after the first night, I felt heartbroken when Mao refused to purr even when sitting with me early in the morning. At the same time, I felt worried because I didn’t know what I thought of our new kitten.

In the first week, I tried to do everything twice. If I petted our kitten, I would pet Mao. I wanted to be impartial. It took Mao one week and a half in order to get used to his little brother. In the meanwhile, he growled while our new kitten kept his distance.

As parents, we began to discover that our cats had very distinct personalities and we had to adjust the way we treated our cats. While Mao was more affectionate, he was also more timid, shy, and picky. While our new kitten was more playful, he was also less obedient and affectionate. While Mao could only be disciplined through verbal prompts, our new kitten needed a physical tap. Where Mao likes forehead kisses, our new kitten becomes intimidated when we come too close to his face.

As an individual, I also began to realize that I was actually very worried about change. During and after the adoption process, I was so afraid that I would lose the affection of my older cat or that my cat would feel that he has lost affection. Of greater importance, I was afraid that I was not going to love our new kitten because he seemed like a stranger to me.

I have, for many times, wondered whether I would love my future children. However, as many have said (and I agree), we fall in love when we get to know someone in full.

Although our new kitten was a stranger, his playful and curious personality has become a welcome addition to our family, as well as to my heart. Though he is a tad bit too energetic for our older cat, Mao has also taken him under his wing and stays with him on a daily basis. And although it is a little sad that Mao no longer waits longingly at the door for us, his presence with our kitten is a welcome sight.

As inspired by one of our favourite superheroes, Marvel’s Daredevil, our kitten’s name is Murdock. (His pre-adoption name is Matt!) We look forward to sharing more stories about him!

Loving their nap times!

TRICK: They hold still when the cat treat bag is held up high 😉